BDSM in Perth

Perth has something no other Australian capital has to the same degree. An estimated 60,000 people in Western Australia work fly-in fly-out, and most of them fly from Perth. They are on site for a week or two at a stretch, working long shifts, and then home for a block of days with nothing to do but live.

If you date in Perth for long enough, you will match with someone on a roster, or you are on one yourself. For BDSM that is no obstacle. A dynamic built on rules, tasks and anticipation suits time apart better than ordinary dating does.

This page is laid out the way a FIFO life is: by the swing.

Mostly a dominant woman. For a Mistress, Perth searches come first: someone to keep you in line for months, not an evening. Some want a dominatrix. Perth also has plenty of interest in rope (bondage Perth searches are steady), and if your taste is femdom, Perth will not be shocked by it. Whatever your fetish, Perth is a long way from everywhere else, and people here make their own fun.

If you are hoping to find a Mistress in Perth, our page on which Mistress suits you and how to write to her is the place to begin. Anyone searching BDSM WA more widely will find that nearly everything happens in the metro area, and the same advice applies.

When someone's profile says "2 and 1", this is what they mean.

• Two weeks on, one week off. The most common pattern at the big mine sites. Fourteen days away, seven at home.
• Eight days on, six off. A shorter rotation. More flights, but you are never gone for long.
• Even time. Two on and two off, or a week each. Less common, and much easier on a relationship.

Ask early which one a match is on. It tells you when they can meet, how often, and how much of the dynamic will run by message. Researchers who surveyed thousands of FIFO workers and their partners found that people on even time and shorter rosters cope best. The same holds for dating.

If you are the one on a roster, put it on your profile. "FIFO, 2 and 1, home from the 14th" saves a dozen messages.

Here kink has an advantage over vanilla dating. Distance gives a Dominant something to work with.

For a Mistress or Dom with a sub on site. Set a structure that fits a twelve hour shift. A check-in on waking. One small task for the evening. A rule or two that applies in camp. Keep it light: someone finishing a long shift in the heat has little left, and a task that takes five minutes will be done properly where one that takes an hour will not.

For a sub with a Dominant on site. Your part is consistency. Be where you said you would be when they have signal. Have your report ready. A Dominant who gets off shift to find a short message waiting for them will remember it.

The wait. Two weeks of "not yet" does things to a person. A sub who has been counting down the days to a particular evening, under orders the whole time, steps off the plane in a very particular mood. A Dominant who has spent a fortnight planning that evening is in one too. Distance is half the fun here.

For both. Site reception can be patchy and shifts overrun. Agree in advance what a missed check-in means, so that silence does not turn into worry or an argument. Twenty-four hours' grace is a kind rule.

Private messaging on the site works well for this. Everything about the dynamic stays in one place, away from work phones and family group chats.

The day someone lands is a poor day for a first meet and a good day to be patient.

They have come off a run of long shifts and an early flight. All most people want is to get home, sleep and see family. Let them. A Dominant who demands attention within an hour of landing, or a sub who expects it, has misjudged things.

A short welcome home message is enough. Make the plan for day two or three.

This is when things happen, and it needs planning because the days go quickly.

If it is a first meet, keep it simple. Choose somewhere public that you can both reach without fuss. Down by the river in the city works for most people, and so does the big park on the hill above it. If you are both coast people, make it Freo. Meet in daylight, talk for an hour and make your own way home.

If you are already in a dynamic, agree the shape of the week before they land. Which days are for the two of you, which are for family and mates, and which evening is set aside for a proper scene. Subs who have been following rules from a distance for a fortnight are usually very ready for that evening. Do not waste it on logistics.

Mind the sprawl. Perth is a long city. Someone at the top and someone at the bottom are a couple of hours apart, and with only a week in hand that matters. Ask early where a match lives, and meet in the middle.

Leave a day at the end. The last day before flying out is for packing and an early night. Plan around it.

Use it. A Dominant can set the rules for the swing ahead the night before. A sub can ask for them. Some couples have a small ritual for it: a particular instruction given in person, a token to carry, a message to open on the plane. It gives the time apart a beginning, which makes the middle easier.

Dating a FIFO worker when you are in town all the time takes a particular temperament. You get a partner who is fully present for a week and then gone. Some people love that rhythm, because it leaves room for their own life. Others find it lonely.

Be honest with yourself about which you are, and say it early. If you need to see someone every few days, look for a match with an even time roster or a job in town.

For dominant women, a FIFO sub has real attractions. He is used to routine, he follows instructions for a living, and he is very motivated to make his week at home count. So tell a Perth Mistress your roster in your first message. A Perth dominatrix planning a scene needs to know when you land, and Perth femdom runs on the calendar as much as anything. Our pages on dating a dominatrix and femdom dating cover what else they look for.

Then you have it easy, and everything above still helps. Perth people work odd hours in hospitals, hospitality, the port and offshore as well. The habit of asking "what is your week like?" before suggesting a date is a good one in this city, whoever you are talking to.

• First meeting in public and in daylight, and only to talk.
• Tell a friend where you will be. If you are FIFO, a mate on your crew will do.
• Make your own way there and back. Do not accept a lift from someone you have only just met, however far out you live.
• Take your time. A roster makes people want to rush things into one week. A good match will still be there next swing.

Regional WA is vast, and outside the metro area the sensible way to begin is online. Our guide to BDSM near you explains how to make that work.

Over east for work or on a break? See BDSM in Adelaide and BDSM in Melbourne.